The Fair Play MethodA sustainable solution for rebalancing the distribution of labor and invisible work at home to create space for parents to reimagine their relationship, time and purpose. Group Coaching
What is The Fair Play Method?
First, let’s start with what it’s not…it’s not a man-shaming manual, in fact the principles can be applied to any domestic partnership where there is an imbalance in the home and family life. So, what is it? It’s a process designed to illuminate the invisible work, spark conversation around it and then more fairly divide up the responsibilities through a deck of cards that are labeled with 100 tasks of daily life. The goal…reduce burnout and resentment, while sparking harmony and the freedom to pursue what lights you up aka what Eve Rodsky has coined “Unicorn Space.” “Unicorn Space” is the sacred, newfound bucket of time where you pursue reclaiming (or discovering for the first time) the natural gifts, interests, and talents that make you uniquely you.
The method is rooted in four fundamentals:
- All time is created equal. Time is not valued based on your financial contribution to the home
- Don’t keep score. Equal isn’t always fair, and fair isn’t always equal – the goal is not even stacks of cards, it is that each partner feels valued in a system that is fair to them individually as well as the household.
- Establish your values and standards for each card (task) so that you can fully release or assume ownership from conception to planning to execution.
- Reclaim your right to be interesting. What lights you up and leaves you feeling whole as a person outside of being a parent, partner or professional.
Q: Who is this program right for?
A: The Fair Play Method can benefit relationships where one partner is feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or resentful of the invisible labor of daily life.
Q: Why work with a certified facilitator?
A: Most people coming to this work are coming in carrying a decent amount of hurt and frustration. Working with a neutral facilitator helps to navigate the pain points and keep couples on the path to a new organizational system that benefits them both, as well as their entire family.
Q: What is the difference between the 1:1 and Group Coaching programs?
A: The 1:1/Couples Coaching offers a more tailored and intimate process, while the Group Coaching programs offer community and comradery. Jessica has formulated two options within the Group Coaching offerings: a 4-week program that covers the basics and an expanded 8-week program that follows couples deeper into the integration. A sample schedule may include:
Q: How much do these programs cost?
A: $150 per 4-week group
Q: How can The Fair Play Method help corporations support working moms?
A: Nearly 3 million American women have left the labor force over the past year in a coronavirus-induced exodus that reflects persistent pay inequality, undervalued work and antiquated notions of caregiving. Corporations cannot afford to lose women, who have added $2 trillion to the the US Economy since 1970 by increasing their participation in the paid labor force. And there’s still room to grow.
While not new, the Covid-19 Pandemic illuminated the imbalance of unpaid labor and this imbalance impacts a woman’s health, happiness and her ability to show up as her best self for herself as well as her family and her career. Corporations need to offer support for the women in their workforce, and The Fair Play Method is the perfect way to do that – it is rooted in efficiency and built in a systematic approach to fairness that mirrors many successful organizations.
Want to learn more?
I was one of the first-ever certified coaches of The Fair Play Method, the first of its kind coaching program born of New York Time’s Best Selling Author Eve Rodsky’s game-changing book Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live). Fair Play is currently being produced as a documentary by Reese Witherspoon’s Production Company, Hello Sunshine. I am thrilled to bring Fair Play to The Parent Collective.
Fair Play Method Group Coaching
The Fair Play Method, based on Eve Rodsky’s New York Times bestselling Book, Fair Play: A Game Changing Solution For When You Have Too Much To Do and More Life To Live, is a new way of rebalancing the invisible labor of domestic and childcare tasks alongside your partner. It is way of approaching your home as an organization; adopting an ownership mindset so you and your partner can have the freedoms to execute on tasks you are responsible for without fear of someone looking over your shoulder (or feeling the need to look over someone’s shoulder).
With this system, both you and your partner will share your stories. Both about your values and expectations around how chores get done but also about what you need to feel whole as a person. This is what Eve Rodsky refers to as your “unicorn space” and it’s so vital for feeling whole as a person outside a parent, partner or professional.
In my Fair Play group coaching package we will:
- Acknowledge some of the unhelpful societal message that are holding women back.
- Discuss boundaries and why saying yes to everything is doing you a disservice.
- Gain an understanding of the dynamic between you and your partner. How your relationship started and where it is now in terms of domestic work.
- Craft how to invite your partner to the table for Fair Play and how to explain what’s in it for them.
- Learn about the game itself. The rules, how to establish a minimum standard of care to ensure both you and you partner are comfortable with the level of execution of tasks and set some ground rules for communication and providing feedback.
I will be there with you each week to take small steps toward reimagining your home life along with your partner and rebalancing the weight of the work you are doing as both a partner and parent.
We are doing all of this with the goal of having time to do what you love. Or maybe even remember what that is. I am here to help you.
“I had a wonderful experience in my time with Jessica. She is a very gifted coach. After our first session, where I felt like I had just rambled non sequitur for an hour or more, she sent me an email and I was blown away about how she was able to really hear what I was saying and distill that information then present it to me with clarity I don’t think I would have seen on my own. And being heard that clearly and understood was really a valuable and validating experience. Our sessions after that consisted of more time getting to specific goals and ways to work around blocks to those goals. She really challenged ideas I had about how I felt things had to be done and was able to show me options that might be more successful. I don’t think I realized how inside of my own box I had been approaching things and her perspective helped me see that and make changes. The entire time she was really working with me and finding personalized ways to support me. I appreciate that it was an experience that felt very curated for my needs. I have left our sessions feeling a renewed sense of being in charge of my challenges. I am truly grateful for that.”
“I went into my coaching sessions with Jessica so overwhelmed that I didn’t even know where to begin. She started off by asking me questions that helped me prioritize my needs so that we could spend time focusing on one thing at a time. Finding ways to take breaks to calm my own mind and body so I can be a happier parent was so good for me, and allowed me to start putting her suggestions into practice immediately. We also looked at everything on my plate, why I was feeling so overwhelmed as a working mom, and started working through tools to help simplify my life so that everything is still getting done, but I’m less stressed and have more time to be present. With baby #2 on the way, I’m excited to reach out again once we’ve started getting into a new routine as a family of 4 to continue working on ways to make sure I’m taking care of myself so I can be the version of me that I want to be for my family. Thanks Jessica!!“
“Working with Jessica as a coach was critical to help me turn the ideas that were churning in my head into a working reality. As a coach, she helped me become ‘unstuck’ and stay focused on the work I needed to do every week to be successful. Jessica made it fun and her coaching support kept me accountable to my goals-I recommend her highly!”